


Novelty

by startwithsparks



Series: MMOM 2014 [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Sex Toys, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2127654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startwithsparks/pseuds/startwithsparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite his initial hesitance, Steve allows Natasha (and Clint) to take him shopping for his first sex toys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Novelty

"What if someone recognizes me?" Steve asked, his brows furrowed tightly together in that way they did when he was trying to puzzle through something he had virtually no way of being equipped to handle. He had a death-grip on his Starbucks cup, the paper cuff creased under his palm. To top it all off, Natasha had dropped this bomb on him in a public place and he was fighting hard to keep the blush on his cheeks from looking suspicious.  
  
Meanwhile, she just grinned at him over the top of her cinnamon-cream something-or-other, the end of her straw still clenched between her back teeth. "We're not going until Saturday," she said, "that gives you five days of not shaving in order to stop looking like Captain America for a couple hours. Besides, I'm sure that no one would think anything of it if you just pointedly not looked anyone in the eye."  
  
She was teasing him, and she had been for a good half hour already. Part of him wondered if Stark didn't somehow put her up to this, if he wasn't going to get back to the tower and find out that he had bet her an obscene sum of money that she couldn't get him to agree to what was easily the worst idea any of them had since he decided to move in. The argument that Clint was going with them didn't sway him in the least, considering that as long as he'd known Barton he's always thought the guy was a little bit off kilter. He'd yet to be proven wrong about that either.  
  
"I am not going to go to a-" he cleared his throat, cheeks burning a little warmer, and leaned across the table to whisper, "to an _adult shop_ with you."  
  
"You should," she retorted, barely missing a beat as she slid her drink aside and clunked her elbows down on the table so she could lean in towards him as well. "I just think you'd have fun, and it's not like you have to _buy_ anything, just tag along with us and have a look around. It's a nice, clean place, with really friendly employees and to be completely honest it's not a bad idea for you to get an idea of the sex culture of the twenty-first century. A lot has changed in the last seventy years. It's not some dirty thing that you can get arrested or excommunicated for anymore, and believe it or not, you won't go blind from doing it."  
  
Steve sighed and slumped back in his chair, picking at the paper cuff on his cup with his thumb. "We had pretty progressive educational material in the military, you know..." he said, watching Natasha stifle a laugh behind the back of her hand, "and from what I gather, not a lot has changed."  
  
"Based on _that_ ," Natasha shrugged, "didn't they teach you guys that it was safer doing it with yourself than with a stranger?"  
  
"And I've been doing just fine this long without your help," he said.  
  
She leaned in a little closer and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Rogers, there are some things you just can't do yourself."   
  
*  
  
At some point during the week, Steve finally caved. The offer lingered in the back of his mind, popping up at the strangest moments and forcing him to reconsider his answer all over again. In the end it was nothing that Natasha had said that changed his mind, but the growing feeling that he was making a big deal out of nothing. The only thing that made him hesitate was the thought that someone might recognize Captain America in a store like that, but then it occurred to him that it might give him a good platform to talk about safe sex and education and other things that he hadn't been afforded as a teenager. He spent too many years being ashamed of and not understanding his sexuality that if he had the chance to make sure that someone else didn't have to go through that confusion and distress, he was going to take it. And if he was being honest with himself, he had a long way to go along that road as well.  
  
He had never run from something just because it made him nervous, and Steve had no intention of doing so now, not once he figured out what it was that was causing that doubt to swarm around in his mind. And if Natasha thought that he would enjoy himself, then he needed to give up a little bit of control and trust her judgment. If, in fact, it turned out to be a complete disaster, then he would have to remember that for the next time she encouraged him to step out of his comfort zone and try something new.  
  
Clint seemed genuinely surprised when he showed up to meet them on the ground floor of Avengers Tower, a look which just reinforced the idea that this was something he needed to do. He didn't like the idea that people might think he held onto ideas that, even in the 1940's, he knew were wrong. He answered the look with little more than a shrug, pulled on his jacket, and followed them down to the parking garage nestled safely next to the building.  
  
"We didn't think you'd show up," Natasha said, sliding into the driver's seat.  
  
"I didn't either," he replied. It was an impulsive last-moment decision, but one that he had decided he had to do. "But I thought about and decided that I can't very well keep an open mind to all the other changes in the world if I can't keep an open mind with this one."  
  
"That's the spirit!"  
  
"And," he added, glancing towards Clint, "I figure with Barton here, no one will assume we're together."  
  
"That doesn't mean anything," Clint said, twisting around to look at Steve in the backseat. "This way they'll just assume that all three of us are together."  
  
Steve's brows furrowed. "It that a common enough thing that-"  
  
"Yep," Clint interrupted, turning back around and tipping his sunglasses off the top of his head and into place. "You'd be surprised at how common it is."  
  
"I've been surprised at a lot of things lately."  
  
He caught Natasha's smirk in the rearview mirror as they pulled out onto the street, and shook his head. The team as a whole was determined to make his life interesting. That might not have been a bad thing, were it not for the way they insisted on going about it. Just once he would like someone to ask him what he wanted to experience, instead of thrusting him headlong into something that had a good chance of leaving him permanently scarred. Tony was the biggest culprit, naturally, but Natasha was gaining on him.  
  
Steve hadn't really known what to expect out of the shop. He had a mental image of the old stag films and the dark buildings where they were shown. Not that he had ever been in one of those places, and if he had he wasn't about to let anyone know it. So it was a bit of a surprise when they pulled up in front of a typical storefront, with frosted glass blocking out most of the front windows and bright, elegant neon hanging in the window by the open door. It was indistinguishable from the other stores around it, at least from the street. It was a lot less intimidating walking into a brightly-lit, open, store than he anticipated it being. There were a few other people milling around, a couple of them he figured must be employees, and upbeat music playing over the speakers.  
  
"See?" Natasha said, motioning for Steve to follow her, "Not so bad, is it?"  
  
Steve glanced over at her, "I'll continue to reserve judgment until we get all the way inside the building."  
  
It didn't take long for Clint to split off from the pair, making his way around a corner and towards a back room, and only a few moments longer for one of the employees to make her way towards where Steve was awkwardly following Natasha from one display to the next.  
  
"Can I help you guys find anything?" she asked.  
  
Natasha glanced up from where she was reading the label on the back of some bottle of something Steve really wasn't paying that much attention to, and smiled at the other woman. "I'm fine," she said, "but my friend here is a toy virgin and he needs a lot of help."  
  
Steve glared - as best as he could anyway - down at her. "This was _your_ idea," he said.  
  
"Right, and I don't want to know what you go home with. I'm sure uh-" she tilted her head to glance at the woman's name tag, "Abby can help you more than I can."  
  
She had a point, Steve thought. If he did go home with anything he wasn't sure he wanted Natasha and Clint knowing what it was either. It was one thing to show up with them but another thing entirely for them to have that kind of knowledge about what he did the bedroom. As much as he didn't want to give her credit for being right, for no reason other than she would just gloat about it, he had to admit that she was knocking down his reservations one right after another.  
  
"Good idea," he replied, then turned his attention towards the young woman standing across the display from them. She smiled at him and motioned him over towards another, waist-high, counter.  
  
"Are you looking for yourself or for a partner?" she asked.  
  
Steve slid a hand through his hair, determined not to blush. "Myself," he said. "There's uh... no partner right now."  
  
"Nothing wrong with that," she replied, stepping behind the counter. "Sex with yourself is the safest sex you can have and these days, that's important."  
  
He wanted to say that back in his day that was important as well, but he was still clinging to the hope that she didn't have any clue who he was. Steve shoved his hands in his coat pockets and glanced down at the array of oddly-shaped objects under the glass counter.  
  
"How much experience do you have?" she asked as she dug into her pocket for a set of keys.  
  
Steve shrugged. "Average?" he offered, not really sure if his definition of average matched up with the modern definition anymore. "But it's been a few years."  
  
"So you'll probably want to start small, then, at least until you get warmed up to the idea of making toys a part of your sex life. And I really recommend you do, there have been a lot of studies to come out recently about how masturbation can actually improve a person's health, what with prostate disease affecting so many people and being such a big concern as men age."  
  
While she spoke, she unlocked the cabinet and reached in to pull out a display board with a strangely shaped black object on it. Steve wasn't as naive as he looked, though, he had a good idea what he was meant to do with it and the effect it would have. People really had thought of everything.  
  
"This is a really good beginner model," she said, "and it has the highest ratings of any prostate massager that we sell. And it's hands-free so you can use it with a partner if you want to, or while you're masturbating. Now if you're looking for something a little more interactive..." she added, motioning for him to follow her again. They made their way deeper into the store towards a back wall, lined with various phallic objects in increasing sizes. "Take a look around here, and if you have any questions, I'll be close by. Finding the right dildo is really a matter of personal preference. Some people like the realistic ones, some prefer the artsy, sort of vaguely-shaped ones. Just take your time."  
  
She smiled at him and pushed her dishwater blonde hair out of her face, giving him a little wink before she made her way back towards the counter. For a while, Steve wasn't even sure _what_ he was looking at. He couldn't have imagined there would be quite so many variations, but he could see the truth in what the girl had said. People's preferences were as varied as humans themselves, so there just about had to be something for every preference. Steve took a step back and lifted his gaze towards the top of the wall, scanning down through all shapes and sizes and colors of sexual enhancement items, trying to figure out what he liked.  
  
There was something about the idea of a disembodied penis that seemed really strange to him. The ones that rotated and vibrated were eliminated next, followed by everything in bright, candy colors. But that had only narrowed his options by about half. There was still an overwhelming amount in front of him to potentially choose from. He remembered what Abby had said about starting small and narrowed his criteria down a little more, leaving him with a manageable array of options. He was still trying to imagine himself using any of these when a particular piece caught his eye - matte black and smooth, with a similar shape to the massager she'd shown him before, but thicker. He still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about these kinds of things, but he was here and out of everything it was the most appealing. No sooner than he'd plucked it off the wall than he spotted a metal piece that looked as much like a work of art as anything Steve had seen since walking in the door. He ended up taking it as well, surprised by the weight of it, and made his way back towards the counter.  
  
Abby smiled at him when he got back, looking over his pick. "Both excellent choices," she said, "you have great taste. Though if you're going to leave with these, then we had better get you a bottle of lube too. I usually recommend everyone keep a bottle on their nightstand, or glove box, or wherever else you might be playing." She shuffled over to a case near the front of the store and, after glancing at the bottles lined up on the shelves, grabbed one and made her way back. "This one is the best for butt-play," she said, setting it down on the counter next to the growing pile. "And it'll work with both these materials. The bonus is that it cleans up really easy, which is something I can't say for all brands. Just use as much as you need to in order to make things go smoothly."  
  
Steve was impressed at how frank and open she was about all this though he supposed she would have to be to work here. He admired that.  
  
"Thanks," he said, which sounded awkward and dull compared to how lively she'd been while talking to him. Steve cleared his throat gently and surveyed what he had in front of him before adding, "I think I'll take one of those ones you showed me before."  
  
"Cool," she grinned. "Do you want me to keep it behind the counter until you're ready to check out?"  
  
He shook his head, "I think this is probably good enough for my first time at bat."  
  
She laughed softly and gathered everything up in one arm while she reached for another box from under the counter, "I think your friends are still back looking at the DVDs, so I'll try to get this bagged up for you before they come out."  
  
He thanked her again, glad that Natasha and Clint were otherwise occupied, and waited patiently as she rang up and bagged his purchases. It wasn't until she handed the bag back to him that it really sunk in that he was going to have to use these things now. That was the trick of having persuasive friends and a charming sales girl; he was a sucker for both. But at least no one could accuse him of being a prude.  
  
Steve was still lingering near the counter when Natasha and Clint came back, Natasha with a long cylindrical box under one arm and a black box in the other hand and Clint hoarding a stack of DVDs. Steve glanced away casually as they paid, as willing to give them their privacy as they were to give him his. He didn't think it really mattered to either of them, but he thought that even in a place where they sold sex toys he could afford a bit of modesty. Natasha nudged him in the shoulder on her way past and grinned as he followed them back out the door and towards the car.  
  
"Clint and I got you a couple things," she said, "since we weren't entirely sure you'd get anything for yourself."  
  
"And if we can't get you laid, we're at least going to get you some personal time," Clint added.  
  
Steve slid in the back seat and tucked his bag between his feet on the floor, "I'm not sure whether to be afraid or flattered?"  
  
"Oh, I think you'll enjoy this..." Clint said, digging into his bag for a DVD, which he flung into Steve's lap. He was grinning like an idiot while Steve tried to register what he was looking at.  
  
"The Avengers - a _porn parody_?" he said, incredulous. "They made an adult film about us?"  
  
"Well, they made a porn about _us_ ," Clint shrugged. "You're not in it."  
  
"Thank God," Steve laughed, not sure whether it was out of amusement or horror.  
  
Natasha nudged Clint out of the way and turned to face him next, sliding the cylindrical package out of her bag. "This is for when you _do_ have a partner," she said, handing it back to him.  
  
Steve turned the package around and looked at the label with a faint smile. What he gathered was that it was a large sheet of canvas and some body-safe paint, meant for use during sex. He'd seen some modern art that looked like a couple of people rolled around in paint. He could probably hang it and no one would be any the wiser. It was a clever gift, something that Steve could instantly tell that he would enjoy, but had never even considered might be something he could buy.   
  
"I really like this," he said. "Though it'll probably sit in my closet for the next five years."  
  
Natasha snorted, "You wouldn't have that problem if you'd just let me set you up."  
  
"I think you've had enough influence on my sex life to last a while," Steve replied, flattered by the offer but as uninterested as he had been every other time she'd brought it up. He appreciated that she wanted him to be happy, even superficially, but he barely had any experience with dating, much less blind dates, and wasn't eager to cross that bridge anytime soon.   
  
"I'm still waiting for a thank you," Natasha said, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.  
  
"Thank you," he grinned back.


End file.
